Hard of Hearing
by Lady Varda
Summary: This story follows the account of Frodo and Sam as, basiclly, old farts who have lost their hearing, as well as sanity.
1. Default Chapter

A/N – Thanks Amy for helping me set up my account!!! This is my first fan fiction, so please be honest in reviews so that I can perfect my writing. Enjoy!! PS- Sorry it's such a short chapter; I didn't have time to write anymore. Future chapters will be longer.

Chapter 1- Get the Phone!

RIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

"Frodo, get the phone!!!!!!!" Sam hoarsely yelled as he sat in his rocking chair.

"What?????? Go home???? I am home!" Frodo had lost his hearing aid again.

"No! Get-The-phone!"

Sam was really getting annoyed with Frodo.

"But it's not ringing!!" Frodo said.

"Yes, it is!!!" Sam was about to KILL.

"No it's not, but I'll answer it anyway."

Frodo picked up the phone, but got a dial tone.

This was the third time that day that the phone had not been answered in time.

"Frodo, you need a new hearing aid!!!" Now Sam was really mad.

"Why? I can hear you fine! So what did you say you wanted with that pork?

Sam smacked his head, and them began to slam it against the wall. How could he get Frodo to the doctor if he couldn't even hear?

Just then, Rosie Cotton pulled up in the driveway in her corvette.

"HONEY, I'M HOME!" Rosie screamed at the neighbor's cat.

"Rosie, I'm over here," Sam said as he hobbled out to greet her.

Sam thought to himself, "Why am I cursed to live with these people?!? Why???

Later that day at the doctors….

"Well, Frodo, it seems that your hearing has gotten progressively worse." The doctor said.

"No wonder." Sam muttered under his breath.

" Sam, are we having chicken for dinner tonight?" Frodo asked.

"Frodo, listen to the doctor!!!"


	2. Tax Season

A/N- Yes everyone, I do plan on making this a story with multiple chapters. They may not come every day, because I have midterms coming up. GRRRRRRRRRR. Anyway, thanks everyone for the reviews; I got so excited when I saw them. One last thing- does anyone have a suggestion for chapter themes? Sometimes, I have blank outs. This is one of them. PS- I saw this movie today on ABCFamily with Elijah Wood - Flipper. Anyone heard of it?

Chapter 2 – Tax Season 

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

It was tax season, and Frodo and Sam were having a little trouble with the computer. No, scratch that. A lot of trouble.

The computer was quite a sight to look at. There were pop ups all over screen, and the computer would not stop beeping.

"How do I turn it off?!?!!?!?!?!??!?" Sam screamed with clenched fists.

"Try pressing that button over there, the red one," Frodo said helpfully.

"I already pressed that one, and then this came up!!!" Sam said with a red face, staring at the BUY ZOLOFT NOW pop up.

Just then, a drawing came up of two people kissing; another match making site.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of a sudden, the screen went black and the computer turned off.

Sam's face sagged as he plopped down in the office chair.

"All our taxes were on there, Frodo. It's all lost. All of it."

Rosie walked in with some cookies and milk.

"Does anyone want some fresh baked cookies?"

That was the thing with Rosie. Good intentions, but always taken the wrong way.

"No, I don't want any cookies, and NO, I DON'T WANT ANY MILK!!!!!!!!!"

With that, Sam stormed out of the room, stomped upstairs, and slammed the door.

"What's the matter with him?" Rosie asked.

"What???"

"What. Is. The. Matter. With. Him?"

"Oh, I don't know. We were doing out taxes, and then he started screaming and jumping up and down for no reason. I think he's going insane. Is it time to put him in a mental place again?"

"Frodo, sometimes I wonder."

The next day…

Sam was on the computer again trying to recover their lost taxes.

The computer was running slower than usual, and Sam's fingers were starting to twitch in that way where you're on your last nerve and about to explode.

"If I get one pop up today, I'm calling Goldilocks or Elanor to do these for me."

Just then, a pop up for chemotherapy came up out of nowhere, and the computer quickly started to turn into the day before.

"GHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam jumped up and ran to the phone to call one of his daughters.

So much for taxes.


End file.
